From time to time (more than I am proud to admit), I have been jealous of the matriarchs in Drew’s life. The love and respect this man has for the incredible women who raised him can be overwhelming to a novice wife such as myself. Just look at the facts: they make better biscuits and fried green tomatoes, they kissed his boo-boos, and have never made him speak about cramps—or begged him to give copious details about his day at the office (which he rarely wishes to describe once he’s on his own time, fair enough).
The point I am making is that I have not felt confident that I could ever measure up. I have wondered what in the world lead him to me—a nutty, over-sensitive, blabber mouth with zero fashion sense or super model qualities.
Suddenly a light has come on. In considering his devotion and the qualities he values most in them, I feel humbled. I am in my early days of becoming awesome still, but he chose me because of these women, not despite them. It makes sense; I’ve always said that I see the qualities I favour in my dad in Drew. He likes to laugh (bathroom and geeky humor), he’s really intelligent, he is organised, logical, thoughtful, generous, he challenges me, he values honesty, he plays guitar, he has simple needs, and he’s creative (there is probably more). If this is true for Drew, it makes sense it might be true for me.
These women instilled in him high standards; his high standards brought him to me. His love and respect for these women is nothing if not a direct reflection on what he sees in me. I am a candidate for that club—I could hold my own among women of this calibre some day. They are seasoned livers of life, strong, full of love, incredibly kind, prone to laughter, quick to add a seat at the dinner table for any friend you bring home, smart, practical, family oriented, loyal… These are also the qualities I saw in my mom on her best of days. I have what it takes to grow into these shoes and, God willing, there is still time.
There are more women in Drew’s life with whom I could never compete–and I just wouldn’t try. I have seen Drew struggle to grow into his role as an adult big brother to three amazing ladies; it doesn’t necessarily come naturally to him… (Women are infinitely complicated, bless him.) But being able to see his heart straight through his chest, even when his words fail him, I know what he feels for them and how far it extends. This gives me all the peace I need to know that his well is deep enough to hold all the love his baby will ever need. His patience may wax and wane (as it does with us all), but he has an incredible heart.
I can’t promise that I won’t ever feel a pang of jealousy again (what women could?!), but I can’t imagine that I will ever go back to feeling quite the same about all the women in his life. I am so honored that he saw something in me worthy of being among them.
Photo credit: Brooke Kelly Photography
4 responses to “All the Women in His Life”
Isn’t it funny how we all measure ourself against others…especially women.
And even when you are having thoughts about not measuring up, I’m having thoughts about how I can be more like you. Wishing I could be more present, more insightful, and more kind like you. I guess it is a good thing to surround ourselves with strong and great people so that we can push ourselves to become better.
Oh, to think that you just might be carrying yet another lucky little lady to be blessed by his love. Either way this baby will be so very lucky to share its life with the two of you. I am in awe of how you can put your thoughts and feelings into such words. Drew is just as blessed to have you.
Oh honey, sometimes I wish I had your spirit. I love how quick you are to laugh, your easy nature, the way you mix into any group… I am in awe of how down to Earth you are despite what you know and who you are professionally. People feel the same about you–and you are right, that’s why we all have to stick together. We are best matched with those that bring out the best in us.
Thanks Corey, you are so sweet to continue this journey with me even as hard as it might sometimes be. Your strength and your faith are incredible. I appreciate knowing that you are out there and I keep up my prayers for your family to grow.