Deep Thoughts and Ranting

I am constantly amazed by the enormity of the body of information that is lost on me. Another big fat wave of “really?!” is sure to hit me in the next five minutes. I knew there was a lot I didn’t know, and then I began the process of moving overseas. Through this shenanigan, I realized how many relevant, important things I take for granted. It is most absolutely overwhelming what you must do and learn to live in another country.

Take for instance the things you don’t know about the people you love the most and the people you see the most. Do you know that someone you love doesn’t prefer crushed ice to regular anymore or that someone you love doesn’t have the same great memory of sharing Raisinets? It’s quite true. Someone you love is politically minded for all of the right reasons and speaking intelligently about their position to anyone who will engage them, even the crazies who can’t understand them, on the off chance that the aforementioned crazies might be positively affected by some rational, adult conversation. Are you aware that someone you love and spend time with frequently has a recipe to make their own bacon? Mmmhm. I’m just saying…

Would you like to know what other random things I have learned while making this move? When you call any service provider that you are in a (pseudo) relationship with, their automated answering system will not have an option that fits your needs. If you want to remove yourself from those mailing lists of companies who send you pre-selected and other preferred customer offers, you have to rope down the moon. The DMV doesn’t know what address you should put on your driver’s license when you are living outside the country, but plan to drive when you come back for vacation. You can’t pay your final phone or cable bill when you cancel your account because those services are prepaid and calculating the pro-rated balance is way beyond the capabilities of the cute little lady who answered your call. If you do not sell your car before you go, you have to give someone Power of Attorney to sell it on your behalf. If someone has to pay any bills for you or accept any money for you while you are gone, you have to add them to your bank account–and everyone on the account has to be present to add or delete a party on an account. If you have $3000 extra dollars, you can upgrade your 2, one-way plane tickets to first class. If you move outside the country during an election year, you have to get an absentee ballot and carefully follow the instructions for voting outside the country. If you would like to take copies of your medical records with you, you should not assume that your husband will be able to pick those up for you. Even though he is your emergency contact and they would call him if you passed out and cracked your head open, they could not tell him that you were there to find out whether or not you were having his baby. There are forms and fees associated with that. Really?!

There are also very awesome things to do and learn as you relocate across the pond. Right now, though, my feelings are hurt by the icky ones. For that reason, I’d like to sincerely thank the people who are carrying this burden with us. It is would be impossible to do this without you. I may owe you more than I can ever pay you back.